All of the “What-ifs”
Today is my first official day at the shop being a full-time entrepreneur.
I imagine I’m supposed to be filled with a sense of freedom and large amounts of excitement…honestly though? I feel extremely anxious. The good ‘ol “what-ifs” have taken hostage of my mind and I’m writing this with slightly sweaty palms and a nervous foot twitch.
The list of what could happen and all of the risks associated with taking such a risky plunge into this journey continues to grow longer as my mind spirals down this nervous rabbit hole:
What if we don’t make any money for the shop and I have to close the doors?
What if there isn’t enough to pay myself and I can’t pay my bills and we lose our home and we starve and our pets starve…and, and, and?
What if nobody comes into the shop and I have to admit failure to all of these amazing artists who have entrusted their beautiful artwork to me?
What if I can’t pay the lease here and we get into a nasty legal issue?
What if we have to declare bankruptcy?
What if I (gasp) don’t like owning my own business? Then what? Who AM I THEN?
What if the stress of this endeavor tears apart my marriage?
What if I have to get another full-time job and have no time to live and go into a terrible depression?
What if, what if, WHAT IF?
As you can see, the list is lengthy and that’s only the tip of it. That said, the more rational and positive side of my psyche thankfully steps in more often than not and says…what if you DON’T try it:
I’ll always wonder what could have been
My dreams will go unrealized
I won’t know where I could have taken this amazing opportunity
My potential will continue to feel malnourished
I’ll feel unsatisfied and trapped helping to support somebody else’s dreams
And you know what? This list continues to grow too!
One of my absolute favorite quotes by Jim Carrey goes
“You can fail at what you don’t want, so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.”
Carrey’s words have stuck with me and inspired me countless times along my journey to finding my true, authentic self and now opening Karmyc Bazaar. The worst thing that could happen is that this won’t work out…and then I brush myself off and figure out how and when my next adventure begins.
The “what-ifs” will continue and I will continue to breathe and wait for that other side of my brain to kick the ifs in the ass.
Thank you as always for supporting KB and our artists, and for shopping local. It’s so very important!
With love,
Jennelle xo
