The synchronicity of life continues to astound me, as it often appears in the strangest (and most interesting) of ways.
I went for tea with a friend the other night and we started discussing different business avenues and how to attract more people into KB (such a beast to conquer). She had suggested getting a guest book so clients could write down their names and email addresses for our monthly newsletter.
While we had a lovely time together, I honestly left the coffeehouse feeling like crap. We chatted about so many ideas for marketing, it made me question if I was “doing enough”, “trying hard enough”…and basically if I MYSELF was enough. It’s a familiar feeling that’s been rearing its ugly head a lot lately.
By the time I walked into my house I’d diminished myself to about 2 inches tall and a total failure. What the fuck was I thinking starting this new business venture?! Karmyc Bazaar needed somebody way more eloquent and outgoing than shy little old me.
I suddenly remembered this beautiful leather-bound notebook I had received at the conclusion of my yoga teacher training 4 years ago from my mentor. It would be the PERFECT guest book. I decided to try and distract myself and do something useful, so immediately went on the hunt for the book. It was tucked away safely on my bookshelf and when I pulled it out, a letter fell out of the pages onto the floor.
My eyes immediately welled up with tears as I recognized my husband’s handwriting. He had written me this love letter during my yoga training. Tait wrote about my inner-strength, my ability to make others feel happy and safe, my intelligence, and humor; honestly everything in that letter was exactly what I needed in that moment.
What really worked deep into my psyche was how much he spoke about the transformation he noticed in me from my yoga practice. Reading his thoughts reminded me of the awareness and inner peace I felt for myself and those around me during that time of intense self-discovery…and how much I have strayed from that path over the last year or so.
Lately I’ve been so riddled with anxiety I nearly make myself sick to my stomach. My thoughts are consumed with doubt and fear no matter what I’m doing. This was exactly how I USED to feel before yoga and meditation entered my life.
So with this beautiful gift my husband had given me so long ago and inadvertently re-gifted me with again last night, I rolled out my yoga mat and sat down upon it with intense gratitude. I’ve picked up my meditation practice again for oh the…10th or so time in the last few years and have decided to cleanse from binge-watching Netflix while I settle back into myself.
The serendipity of meeting with my friend, discussing the guest book and finding that sweet letter from my husband while he was away for two weeks was absolutely perfect! What a blessing this life holds for us if we simply let it.